Our dreams will show it all, past, present, future

I use to think dreams where the best part, but they are just there to guide. But i cherish them nonetheless, good or bad. But onward we go..

Playing in the end.....of my dream

Dreaming always takes me somewhere whether its an old memory, a nightmare, something i wish to remember or even something that could have been they all differ. This one i woke up with a smile but could feel the tears down my face. Still not sure how to feel about that….

When you find urself talking and ur like holly shit..

Going day to day seems great and then i see how much has changed. Looks not so much, crib lots of upgrades, job i make it rain like never before, personal satisfaction wayyyy up their…..Personal happiness i might as well jump of the harrisburg bridge. Oh wait there’s “two”… Dammit.

I can’t listen to my favorite singer anymore until tonight. Amos Lee might as well just faded away. Chocolate definitely lost its smooth velvet taste. All the money i make from this new job, pointless. All i thought about, for HOURS after seeing my first check was… what could i do with all this if i had her? Well i paid bills thats for damn sure! But getting back on track it all really seems like a dark deep pit, without light, suffocating, hoping to die, wanting to let the deep take me. But i know none of it would help. Not a damn thing would change, so i gotta keep pushing forward. Give it my all because i think deep down….. you wanted me to be successful. I think? But it seems to be so not important now that my bed is empty anytime i sleep at what was once a house full of memories in such a short time. Waking up alone, i remembered how much it made me lose sleep. How much i wished i could wake up from the nightmare i gave myself. I did it to myself. I screwed up beyond belief. I deserve to be left truly alone even in my dreams….

Every month,

Each week,

Every day,

What can i do, maybe nothing. Maybe something. 

Im trying. I am doing everything to be that someone that can take care of himself. If you arnt giving up on life, why should I. Though my motives are different. I know who i want, but it seems such a bleak chance maybe im just kidding myself. But dammit i wont give up, “they” wouldn’t forgive me if i did.

If you’v made it this far, then congrats. You have a lot more heart than i could have thought. I have cried writing this letter so many damn times, so many ways. Each time makes me want to run find you. Run forever. I hope your doing well for urself. Your one tough cookie and i know you have the whole world waiting. Im still here whenever. 

Today i spoke about the past few months, and in doing so said….. not ex girlfriend. I said yes brady, how i wish i could somehow get to know my ex fiance again. 

Anyways i miss you, thats all i wanted to really say. Dang i drew that out. Im such a baby sometimes lol. 

-Leo

This is where my darling wants to go. I tell her we will, and i know deep down inside im worried that when we go i wont be able to get her back onto the plane. But im sure it will be worth it.

This is where my darling wants to go. I tell her we will, and i know deep down inside im worried that when we go i wont be able to get her back onto the plane. But im sure it will be worth it.

(via favoritefix)

To one day know what this feeling is. No matter what comes my way, i hope to enjoy it with my somebody special. Whether she feels that way today, a week from now or a year from now.

To one day know what this feeling is. No matter what comes my way, i hope to enjoy it with my somebody special. Whether she feels that way today, a week from now or a year from now.

The woman i love with all my heart. Hoping to be able to make many more memories.

The woman i love with all my heart. Hoping to be able to make many more memories.